IntellectImpure

Vomit #6

2006-07-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

Currently I am reading a great deal. The older I get the more I realize that my education has been woefully deficient. Some of that is due to dropping out of college but some of it is due to systemic problems in American education.

When I was a junior in HS we took the PSAT. For some reason that test, even though it is similar to the SAT, applies the Verbal score twice and the Math section only once in determining score. I have no idea whether that is still the case but for me doubly weighting the Verbal half, on which I excelled, and minimizing the Math half, on which I did well but not amazingly well, served to give me a very high percentile score.

Commence daily trips to the mailbox to sort out mail from Universities. I received many packages from many institutions and a lot of correspondence that not only implied acceptance, but also implied financial aid of some sort. Strangely, my father seemed kind of disinterested in the whole thing. Apparently, he wanted me to attend an inexpensive state supported school nearby. My mother was interested but knew nothing regarding the process of selecting a school. I also new nothing and received no help from my HS and none from anyone else. Alas, this all occurred in the dark ages before the internet so there was not much information readily available in a town of 1200 people.

Before that digression, the thing I really wanted to talk about was literature from an actual "Liberal Arts College." Reading the brochure I was enthralled. They were proposing to five me an education that people would have recognized a century ago. The classics, languages, philosophy, reading, reading, reading... Things that would have prepared me to be thoughtful and rational. In short, all I wanted.

Of course I did not go there. I went to the commuter college that was state supported. Did I take up a program of reading and logic and philosophy and a search for truth and beauty there? Heck no. Within a few weeks I realized that the institution in question was little more than a vocational school. Many degree programs would have left me with piece of paper that would guarantee me a decent income but I would have learned nothing beyond the narrow scope of my chosen field. A few semesters later, I dropped out.

Which leads me back to today. Even though I have returned to school a couple of times, I still do not have a degree. But I am not ignoring my real education. I am studying, studying, studying, and reading, reading, reading, with the intent of expanding and sharpening my mind. In short, getting the Liberal education I have always wanted.

Theories that I don't subscribe to.

2006-07-03T18:44:00.000-07:00

Conspiracy theories: For the most part, I do not believe in conspiracy theories. The idea that a large group of people could have an agenda that they actively pursue and not have someone spill the beans is suspect. This is not to say that groups don't conspire but rather to say that the big planning it would take to actually do big things would not lend itself to secrecy.

The Devil theory: I don't actually believe that figures that I strongly disagree with are evil. I am not a fan of George Bush but I think that on some level he is actually trying to do a good job.

The 'Hates America!' theory: See above for generalities and see this for specifics. Again, to use Bush as an example, I don't like him or his policies. But I don't think he wakes up in the morning and says "Well, what can I do to screw America today?" A few folks in our government may actually be sick and demented to that degree and the signs of political opportunism abound, but I see very few on either side of the isle that I think are evil.

The 'Secularists are destroying America!' theory. Secularists are probably the least monolithic of all the groups in America. I doubt they could pick a restaurant for dinner much less manage a concerted, covert attempt to destroy America.

The 'Gay people are destroying America!" theory. Same rationale as above.

All that said I suppose it is easy to see my theme. I believe that the vast majority of Americans of all political stripes, religious affiliations, races, creeds, whatever are just saying what they think they need to say and doing what they believe they need to do to make things better. Whether they are correct is another matter. In addition, it is probably statistically certain that among the members of any large group that there will be some people who are irrational, and or dangerous.

Our only hope is that those who are not irrational or dangerous will keep the truly wicked from ascending to power.

Vomit #5

2006-06-27T17:02:00.000-07:00

Just posted a little personal thing about Evolution. Not very scientific at all.

This is more like the voice that I would like to write in. Immediate and cozy. If you have an interest in science and evolution and just a whole bunch of other things of that nature go visit IndianCowboy He's not really a Cowboy, he's a trained scientist!

Why yes, I do believe in Evolution!!

2006-06-27T16:27:00.000-07:00

Me? A trained scientist? No, not me. I am just a regular guy who is pretty bright and has read incessantly since I was a little kid. Space and Astronomy were a lamp to my mothy self. Especially since the space program was going to the Moon(Dated myself there). Geology, Anthropology, Archeology, Paleontology all got my attention at some point. I did take a few classes in college in some of these fields but I am not close to being trained in science.

What all that reading did though, was to get me to look at things. Analytically and with great interest. If one thing can be said about these disciplines and the people who pursue them is that they must be curious to succeed.

So, after reading indiscriminately about loads of different fields I looked around. Looked at the land. Looked at the night sky. Looked at animals, looked at mountains, hills and gullies, looked at the sand that was under my home, beach sand for goodness sake, even though I lived 250 miles inland. The little fossils of shells that I would see in limestone outcroppings at the lake and the petrified wood that my grandma kept in her flower bed all led me to believe that the earth was ancient and that things have come and gone and sometimes been preserved. My wide wondering child’s eyes looked at stars and planets and the Great Nebula of Orion and saw distances and caused me to ponder the speed of light and again, the ancientness and vastness of the Universe.

Things that I did not get to see myself I read about. Vulcanology!! Wow. The books and the diagrams of Volcanoes made it clear to me that the Earth was a dynamic and changing place. Plate tectonics? Look at the globe! It's hard to miss the fact that you can sort of squish all the continents together mentally and they will fit nicely.

And those bones. Bones so enormous and so decidedly different from anything that I could see in my own world. Buried and turned to stone...like that petrified wood in Grandma's yard. Bit by bit over a time span hard to imagine.

Most of the things I am describing came before High School science class. Before I had studied Evolution. Sure, I had seen the term and had some concept of what it was about but I was unfamiliar with the details. We studied Lamarck first. Then Evolution. Straight from Sunday school on Sunday to Science class fifth period on Monday and it was obvious to me that Darwin had theorized something that could elegantly and simply tie together an ancient world's worth of odd and amazing things. Best of all, it agreed with what I had observed. With my own eyes.

Vomit #4

2006-06-25T18:53:00.000-07:00

I am dis-satisfied with my blog. The subject matter is what I would like it to be. Resigned to the fact that I will never be a 3,000 word a day blogger or possibly even 3,000 words a month. The thoughts and the prose are not embarassingly bad. But it is not what I want.

Take, for example, the post on Impunity. It says much of what I want to say. Conveys a certain amount of emotion. But in tone and voice it is somewhat lifeless. It is a bit didactic and dispassionate.

Somewhere between 'disinterested observer' and 'guy screaming incoherently' is where I want to be. Able to be emotinal but with reason at least somewhere in the mix.

Maybe I will re-write the post on Impunity...in a more immediate voice.

Impunity

2006-06-25T14:33:00.000-07:00

Indiancowboy wrote something the other day regarding the fact that people do bad work and are rude and mean,(in the old fashioned sense), and that they do so with a sense of impunity. He is correct of course and he sought some kind of solution. Something to put the scales back to a balance. The only problem with Indiancowboy is that he is perhaps to young to understand the incredible depth and importance of what he was commenting on.

In our world we are impermanent. More so than ever before we are rootless and often end up moving from place to place, from job to job, from relationship to relationship. We are so jealous of our autonomy that we remove ourselves from all the structures that at one time had some ability to affect our actions. Family, community, Church, philosophy, all have been thrust aside in the name of freedom. No one may dare to offer advice or censure. We are lifelong tourists acting in ways that we would not if we were back home.

In our freedom we are able to create an individual reality that does not necessarily reflect any of the outside world. We may feel picked on or all powerful, or something else entirely and we do not let any evidence to the contrary into our hearts or minds.

We are truly free agents with no one to answer to; able to do anything at any time.

At this point the problem extends far beyond surly public servants and service sector workers that provide no service. The problem is a symptom of our society and extends to people that can not separate their own selfish aims and desires from what would be good and right. Like babies whose crying is, to themselves, the crying of the whole of creation and must be tended to by the universe at large.

With no one to train us to growth we throw tantrums with impunity. Hurting those that would be close to us and those we don't know with equal ease not even acknowledging their humanity.

Religions teach that there will be reckoning. A separation of the good and the bad and that there will be some consequence for bad actions. But there will not be. The bad and the mean, (in the old fashioned sense), continue on as they always have. Their lack of morality allows them to play by rules in which they cannot lose against the moral because the moral will not stoop to the level of the immoral.

They do it without a word of warning, or reckoning, or censure and will continue to do so with impunity.

Vomit #3: Pairs

2006-06-14T11:05:00.000-07:00

I was thinking today of some things that I wanted to write about and realized that I tend to think in pairs. Contrasting pairs would be probably an accurate description. Usually my thoughts on something revolve around two concepts that are opposed and in many cases mutually exclusive.

Question: Is this how everyone thinks or am I just to dumb to think past a pair of concepts at a time?

Vomit #2: As It Has Always Been

2006-06-13T09:26:00.000-07:00

Whether it is marriage, sex, relgion, politics, food, sheep shearing, glass blowing, or cooking, there are some things that have 'always been that way.' When it is said I suppose that it is intended to give some weight to somthing through a connection to past generations; making it something from our heritage.

From my own peering into the public eye, it appears that 'always been that way' actually means, 'since my grandparents.' If you stop for a moment and think about it, you really only end up with significant interaction with your generation, your parents generation, and your grandparents generation. Which means that things that have 'always been that way' have often been that way for only about 75 years or so.

Seems to be far to short a timescale on which to hang any claim of permanence.

This time scale is further compressed when you are talking about employment. In most working environments policies that have 'always been that way' are attributed to a pretty short interval, the famous: before you started working here.

How many of the things that we regard as long traditions whose origins are lost in antiquity are really just things that your grandparents thought up over some Cocaine Cola?

Daily Vomit #1

2006-05-17T20:12:00.001-07:00

Thinking again about my tendency to vomit ideas.

I do have a lot of ideas and they tend to bound around in my head until I let them out. Thankfully I have a few people that I can sic these things on that don't mind all the bounding. It is kind of strange that so many of them are ideas that can not really be proven or disproved without owning 10,000 monkeys, a miniature city and a huge plasma TV. Tends to leave them in the realm of thought rather than actions.

But seriously, I don't think I vomit them.

Firstly, most of them come with a conspicuous absence of bile. If they are vomited wouldn't there have to be bile?

Secondly, my little ideas are usually at least somewhat original to me. Many times I find out later that I am re-inventing someone else’s wheel but hey, that is not my fault. I can't be blamed for regurgitating what I haven't eaten now can I?

Thirdly, I think that my brain would be growing thin by now if I actually had some kind of intellectual bulimia.

Therefore, I do not vomit ideas. I am pretty certain that I excrete ideas!!

The Daily Excretion!! Wait, I think I'll take that back. That sounds nasty.

I Vomit Ideas?

2006-05-15T21:53:00.000-07:00

"You Vomit Ideas"

Hmmm. How the heck does one react to that? What does it mean?

"You should Blog that..."

"I can't. I have a block. Ideas all the time but can't make myself write them."

With that I am introducing a more free form approach that I hope will get me to actually write some things.

Here we go with The Daily Vomit

Why Political Correctness?

2006-03-10T05:32:00.001-08:00

In my astounding travels through cyberspace, or more correctly, my sitting in front of my computer participating in the ragged shouting that characterizes the internet community, I stumble across what I would like to call "the Phenomenon of the Anonymous." This Phenomenon manifests itself as a willingness of posters on the internet to say anything at all, to anyone, in any terms. Vitriolic, obscene, stupid. Anything goes. In a dispassionate intellectual sense, I think there is something positive to be gained by this ranting and raving. Tensions can sometimes be relieved in a safe way. That is probably good.

I am less than enthusiastic, however, about internet speech that is demeaning to groups or that advocates or at least pretends to advocate violence toward certain groups. This occurs with regularity and messiness and poisoning of the electronic pond that we tad about in. Once in a while I or some other poster will dare to comment on the ugliness. Typically, the response is this: "I am so tired of this Politically Correct crap!! I can't believe that I am expected to just never say anything against (insert your preferred race, sect, political party)." The responses follow such a common pattern that you could almost just use my two sentences all over the internet. Just cut and paste them into your own rant and then type in who it is you hate today.

When these gripes against Political Correctness are posted, or blogged, or otherwise disseminated, I can almost picture the poster at his/her computer. Peering eagerly at their monitor as if they were Dorothy and their statement a bucket of water; waiting for me to cry into the ether: "I'm melting!!!"

But that doesn't happen. I don't melt. The reason I don't melt, is that I have a strong belief in what Political Correctness tries to achieve.

Like it or not, when we are out in the wide world, whether in person, or in print, or just fleetingly having our thoughts noted on the web, we are creating not only an idea, but also a representation of ourselves. In most cases there is not so large a body of our writing out there that someone could make a decent judgment regarding our views and our character. Just little disjointed out of context comments. We can't see each other helping old ladies across the street or working with the homeless or handing a dollar to street person or appreciating the art and culture of various races...

When you are ranting and end up saying something that could be construed as an 'ism', whether it is racism, sexism, class-ism, or jingo-ism, you are leaving a portrayal of yourself lying around that indicates that you hold these views.

Why is this of any importance?

Because there are real racists. Because there are real sexists. Because there are real people out there who espouse all manner of intolerance and hate. The kind of people that used to form lynch mobs and band together to perpetuate and spread their hate.

Notice that I used the phrase 'band together.' These cowards normally run in packs. They gain power from their rhetoric and from belonging to a group.

When you allow yourself to sound like them, they gain power from seeing your views and saying to themselves: "See? I knew it. Everyone believes the same as me."

The Three States of My Existence

2006-02-28T19:03:00.000-08:00

A few moments ago, I realized that my entire existence is comprised of only three states:

1) Worrying that something may happen.

2) Having something happen.

3) Trying to figure out what the hell happened.

End of Amateurism

2006-02-21T19:13:00.000-08:00

When I was young I took up the guitar. Before I was forced into early retirement a few years ago, I was a very good guitar player. Much better than average. Though I did not play professionally, I was as good as or better than many that made their living playing. On rare occasions, I had chances to play for people and the experience was every bit as sweet as you might think. Despite not being my livelihood, playing music was a cherished part of my self identity.

Strangely though, I noticed that no one really cared. A few fellow amateurs appreciated what I did. Possibly a few family members as well, but no groundswell of acclaim or invitations to entertain.

Before the radio, and television, people had to entertain themselves a great deal of the time. Due to that fact, a person might possibly be known for something other than their occupation. A blacksmith by trade might also be known for calling square dances. A cow poke who played guitar or harmonica was a welcome distraction from bovine boredom. In town, there were pianos in many parlors and a gracious hostess was all the more gracious if she could play for her guests; one of whom might be "that man with the lovely singing voice who works for the grocer." Men and women and children might play, sing, recite and declaim and a beautiful girl was a wonder known for miles around.

Recognized, appreciated, perhaps even cherished by their communities for their gifts. Even though those gifts might be humble.

Radio killed all of that nonsense. Then Television danced on the grave.

Why pay attention to the efforts of an amateur when a professional could entertain in any room, in any home, on a moments notice? Not only a singer with natural abilities far surpassing the ordinary, but with an orchestral accompaniment led by a wiry haired genius. Not just a man who can tell a good joke, but a group of gifted comics with a stable of writers behind them. When Movies and Television arrived, the small town beauties hung their heads, lost their smiles and refused to be consoled when confronted by an endless supply of flawless creations peering from the flickering screens. Guitar strings popped and were not replaced and the pianos went slowly out of tune.

Worse yet, than the seamless perfection of the offerings, was that the numbers of people involved changed. Instead of one person entertaining a family, or a small group of friends, or a few entertaining a few dozen, or a hundred, a single virtuoso could enthrall millions. With recordings of performances, and film clips, the same performance continued to entertain over and over, further millions.

The quality of fare improved and due to the endless numbers of consumers, performers at the apex grew rich as the amateurs were impoverished in spirit. Even the way we looked at one another changed. Very few of us were as talented, as attractive, as...ideal as the people made famous by the mass media.

Myself and most other amateurs were demoted and devalued.

All may not be lost though, I hear that there is a new kind of community. One where ones appearance and possessions are not so obvious. A place where a person might write a commentary on something that he finds important. And perhaps someone might care.

An Unfinished Synthesist

2006-02-18T17:44:00.000-08:00

I am a synthesist. An issue or idea that I feel strongly about rarely arises from exhaustive research into some esoteric field. Rather, I hear something, or read something, and a connection is made. Snick, snap, ker-chunk. A bit of information fits into place along with some other bit of information, and another, and another, and hopefully, with a bunch more. The little components come from widely varying sources. My education is sadly incomplete with regard to the Academy, but like Lincoln, I have spent countless hours voraciously reading everything that I can get my hands on. Unlike Lincoln, I never walk in the snow to return a book, in fact, you would be fortunate if I returned a book at all.

Where does this leave me? Hmm, good question.

It leaves me with a unique set of qualities.

I am free to think and conjecture with nothing constraining me. Not only am I not dogmatic, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be dogmatic about. Nor am I confined to a particular discipline; I know a little something about damn near everything. My natural curiosity takes care of that very nicely. Where specialization creates people who know more and more about less and less, I am a generalist who doesn’t pretend to have depth of knowledge, but rather, breadth of knowledge.

Unfortunately, I also occasionally end up dancing on the high steel of a forming skyscraper of logic without benefit of and understanding of the basic structure. Some of my friends are able to blow me off the building with a mighty wind of statistics, which, though I am smart enough to usually grasp what they represent, I don’t have enough facility with to point out the flaws that I intuitively feel are there.

My feeling is that myself and others like me are an underappreciated commodity. Our worth is that when one pokes around indiscriminately, one may discover something that would be missed by more structured research. It would also follow naturally, that while able to make great leaps, we might be prone to great falls due to our lack of specific knowledge.

By and large, I think this situation suits me.

While I hope to continue my education in a formal sense, I imagine that I probably won’t pursue some narrow discipline. I guess I’d rather be a gadfly, than an iron clad guy…in the intellectual sense.

The Level Playing Field

2006-02-18T11:08:00.000-08:00

Congratulations America!! The Playing Field is level. As far as the eye can see there are no great peaks or yawning chasms; just pure American good ol' fashioned work ethic being rewarded. It takes the same amount of effort to move 40 yards regardless of who you are, regardless of where you come from. Congratulations. Anyone can move those yards downfield that cares to.

Right?

Of course!! Except that the metaphor is wrong. It's not a field. It's a racetrack. Whether it is level is not even important.

While it does take the same amount of effort for each individual to run 40 yards, not everyone is running the same race. The stands are way down at the finish line and it is easy to see who wins and who loses. Some runners are powering through the tape still fresh and ready to run some more. Some are spent by the end and barely make it. Some collapse somewhere before the finish line and if they are seen, it is when they are being attended to; picked up and carted off. The spectators are thrilled to see the winners and they applaud them appreciatively. What the spectators are not aware of, is that some runners are running in an individual event and some are running a relay.

Yep. That's right. Even though we are quick to sort out the winners and losers, they are not even running the same event. As they all round the track they are even but suddenly...some of the racers hand off batons to a waiting group of runners who get off to a rolling start and quickly dash away from the participants that run their race alone. Oh don't get me wrong, there are a few racers who even confronted with the specter of unfair odds are so talented and so persistent that they still occasionally win. They are in the minority though. Most of the racers who have no help fade, and either don't finish, or finish very poorly. It is obvious to the spectators who the quality athletes are. "See! There he is! Look how fast he was! What a tremendous person he is! Look at his accomplishments!"

I wish sometimes that I could gather up the batons and show them to the audience.

"Look!" I would yell. "They had help! The other runners were going it alone but some of them had help!"

Then I would read the words that were engraved on the batons, to demonstrate what was being passed on along with momentum: Money, Education, Knowledge, Social Connections...

It is no surprise to me, and shouldn't be to you, that the last election for President of the United States was two middle aged white guys from Yale.

Couldn't you see the batons in their back pockets?